I hate the term "mom fail". I hate these words more than any two other combinations of words on the planet. As far as I am concerned there is no such thing as a mom fail because moms are human and we all make mistakes. Being a mom is such a demanding job that should never be seen as failing. Most days we are just surviving. Some days my husband will come and I will just yell "They are alive. You're welcome." This was especially during the summer months when I was severely outnumbered by my little angels. Why are other people allowed to make mistakes without being labeled a failure ? Why do moms get the pressure to keep everything together and when they don't it is a failure? Why do we give grace to everyone except the moms who need it the most?
I remember clearly the first time I heard one of my friends say Mom fail. I was sitting at the park with my toddler and she had hers. They were both playing lovely until all of sudden they weren't. Toddlers do that a lot. I gave my little girl a drink of water and of course the other toddler was irate that she was also dying of thirst and needed water immediately. I watched my friend frantically search through her diaper bag only to discover that she had forgotten the sippy cup that day. She looked at me and said "I forgot her water. Ugh! Mom Fail." I said "What?!?!" I was so aghast by how she thought the lack of a sippy cup was a failure on her part. I proceeded to list off all the things that she did bring. Snacks, diapers, wipes, butt cream, extra clothes, a jacket, hair ties, baby tylenol, bandaids, and sunscreen but forgetting one sippy cup of water makes her a failure. I wasn't hearing any of this ludicrousness. She laughed at my rant but deep down I was very upset by this new phrase that had been added to my vocabulary.
My girls forget things all the time. I always joke "They would forget their heads if they weren't attached." Every morning before school I remind them of their backpack, water bottles, folder, socks, shoes, homework and everything else that they need for a successful day at school. No matter how many times I remind them of their things they sometimes forget one of the many items. However, I would never tell my first grader that she failed because she forgot her water bottle for school. I would never say "Seven Year Old Fail!" as she walked in the door after school. Why is forgetting something a failure? If my husband forgets the milk on the way home from work we never think to yell "Husband Fail." Why are we so quick to say Mom Fail? I would never dream of calling anyone else a failure. Attaching the word fail to the people I work so hard to care for seems ridiculous. I think it is equally as ridiculous to insinuate that any mom is failing.
To this day I have never heard anyone say Dad Fail, Sister Fail, Brother Fail, Mailman Fail, Cashier Fail, Kid Fail, or any other failure as a person. So why is the term "Mom Fail" so easily and frequently used. Maybe it is a way to disarm people when they expect too much from moms. Maybe it is a way to relieve some of the mom guilt when we forget something while taking care for tiny humans. Maybe it is because moms are held to a standard that is unattainable. Whatever the reason, the term "mom fail" is no longer in my vocabulary. If my kids are alive I'm winning, not failing. If my kids are kind I'm winning, not failing. If my kids feel loved I'm winning, not failing. Let's be kind to each other and ourselves. From now on instead of saying "Mom Fail" let's say "Mom Full" because our brains are full of everything. Playdates, snacks, dinners, schedules, homework, shopping lists, and so many other things. So next time I drop one of thousands of balls I'm juggling I will gladly yell #Momfull! Then maybe I could get a break...but probably not.
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