Kids are not Embarrassing

 

     My kid's behavior does not embarrass me.  I am a grown adult so I try not get flustered by things that happen out of my control.  That includes the ways my children behave.  Don't get me wrong I don't want my kids to be jerks in public and we are all working on that.  My kids acting out does not mean I am a bad mom, it means that they are being children.  My kids dressing in weird clothes does not mean I am a bad mom, it means they are learning their style.  My kids crying does not mean I am a bad mom, it means they are having feelings. Kids are not born knowing exactly how to behave in public.  Instead of shaming my kids for doing something my job is steer them into more acceptable behavior so they can make better choices. While they are going through this learning process I'm not embarrassed by others' reaction.  They're responses to my children's behavior is not my concern.  Loving and supporting my children is what I'm more concerned with. 

     The grocery store is a great learning experience and a great equalizer.  So many different types of people can be found at our local grocery store and my three year old is going to say hello to all of them.  Most people are very receptive to her cute little conversations.  However, every once in a while her adorable greetings can be annoying to some.  I'm teaching her to try and not be a nuisance.  My job is to explain to her that some people don’t want to talk to you in the grocery store.  I'm not judging those people.  I usually try to think that they are having a rough day or maybe they are just in a big hurry.  Possibly kids might creep them out, I know my kids can be creepy.  Whatever the reason, I'm trying to teach my super sociable toddler to understand some people just don't want to talk to you sometimes.  Awkwardly she usually yells at them or tries to stare them down as they walk away.  This is all part of the learning process and I am not embarrassed by my three year old shopping cart stalker.  

     My seven year old has her own unique sense of style.  From the time she was two she started dressing herself in fun and unconventional ways.  Some days she would wear pajamas, some days she would wear her underwear outside her pants, and some days she would wear two tiaras with a ballerina costume.  Whatever she decides to wear it is always interesting and fabulous.  She gets such joy out of coming up with her fashion creations.  Now that she is in first grade I have tried to steer her into more school friendly attire.  However, every once in awhile she will still put on a crazy headband or bow to jazz things up.  We have been in public spaces many a time while she is dressed like a person that escaped from a mental institution.  People will always stare and sometimes we get the occasional judgmental gasp.  Everyone once in a while we will get a person, usually an elderly lady, who just gushes over her fabulousness.  I'm sure this joy goes both ways as these women remember their own kids or grandkids who used to have the same fashion sense.  My sweet girl always gives a spin and says thank you.  I'm proud that she has that kind of model confidence and I am not embarrassed by my seven year old fashionista. 

     Would I go to the grocery store and aggressively yell "HI!" to strangers?  No.  Would I wear a prom dress to walk at the park with my friends? No.  Am I totally mortified that my kids do crazy things like this all the time? No.  The last thing that I want is for my girls to feel is responsible for someone being embarrassed by their actions.  We can't control other people we can only control our reaction to them.  I don't need to put any shame on top of my children because they are going to get enough of that from the world around us. Support and love are the only things I want them to feel from this Momma, no matter how they are.  As their mom I will obviously try to correct bad behavior especially if it is unkind.  However, my kids' whole sense of being is perfect to me.  My feelings toward their awkward extraordinary actions is always adoration. Is my three old going to be chasing down grocery store patrons when she is 20?  Probably not.  Is my seven year old going to be wearing tiaras to her job everyday when she is grown?  Probably not. Am I still going to be just as proud and in awe of them?  YES!  Although when they are adults I will probably be really good at embarrassing them.