We all have times that we need to refill. Pretend you are a bucket, a cup, or a sponge whichever metaphor you chose that accurately describes parenting. Whatever I am full of is always what spills out when I am put under pressure. Parenting comes with a lot of pressure. There is pressure from the school, my kids, my spouse, my boss, and tons of other people that I encounter on a daily basis. Somedays I am super happy how I react under that pressure. Somedays I am super disappointed by what has spilled out. Unfortunately it spills out on all the people I love.
There are two times of my day that are the most stressful with my three kids. In the Mornings before my older girls get on the bus and also right after the girls get off the bus before dinner. These are the times when my house is filled with the most chaos. For those who don't have school aged children let me enlighten you about my mornings. The alarm goes up and I barely have time to pee before the yelling starts. Do you want to pick out your clothes or do you want me to do it? Did you brush your teeth? Did you brush your hair? Did you put your deodorant on? These questions keep repeating until I am yelling like a crazy person. When my kids are finally done with their normal getting ready tasks we move on to feeding them. By this time my toddler has joined the mix and is yelling and screaming at me. While she is demanding Pop Tarts and snuggles I am still trying to get my kids ready for school. On a good day I will have time to at least get the coffee started before the girls get on the bus. However, my first few sips of that precious nectar most often never occur until after the bus has pulled away. In the last few moments of my hectic morning time I am yelling things like Socks! Shoes! Water Bottle! Mask! Computer! Homework! Coats! and a million other things. It's exhausting and most mornings I lose my cool and spill my irritation all over my sweet girls. My only redeeming factor is that I kiss them on the forehead and tell them I love them everyday before they step on the big yellow bus.
The same things happen when the bus returns home. Everything is dropped in the entryway and I am bombarded with questions. Where's my snack? Can I have a drink? When is Daddy coming home? Not soon enough is always the answer to the last one. All this hustle and bussle is happening while I am trying to get dinner ready. On the very good days I answer all their questions with a smile and hug. These good days only happen if I was able to be refilled during the school hours. However, if I have been drained during my day I easily snap at my girls. I ask them to go away. I tell them to give me a minute. On these days it does not mean that I love them any less. It just means that I did not have a chance to recharge. It mean that I did not have a chance to relax. It means that I did not have a chance to do anything cup filling for me. I hate when I spill out my frustration on my girls but I am only human.
There are a lot of things I can do to fill up. Sometimes it is baking something I know my girls will love when they get home. Sometimes it is finding a few minutes to work out. Sometimes it is when I write this blog. I have also found ways to recharge while doing my daily activities. Putting on a sappy movie while folding laundry or listening to an inspirational podcast while doing the dishes has all been rewarding for me. I have discovered that if I take the time to do these things in my busy life I am less likely to snap at my sweet girls. In the mornings I can be more calm if I know that I'm going to get a few moments to sip hot coffee after my girls go off to learn. I can keep my blood pressure low and look forward to my girls returning home if I have had time to recharge during the day. Most days I'm not going to get that chance to refill. Most days I'm going to snap at my ladies because they are all coming at me all at once. Most days I'm going to go to bed disappointed in my actions. I always tell my girls that tomorrow is an another day to make better choices. If I can extend that grace to them I can definitely do it for myself too. Tomorrow I will try to do better to refill my cup.
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