I never understood the phrase "It takes a village to raise a child" until I actually had a child. Even if you only have one child it still takes a village to raise them. I always say the more people in my kids lives the better. We moms need our village in many different ways. Sometimes I need help with household tasks like cooking or cleaning. Sometimes I need help physically getting the kids places. Sometimes I need help loving on my littles because I don't have the energy. Communities are essential for so many different reasons. They are beneficial for the mom, the kids, and the community. I am deliberately raising my kids to be part of many different communities.
This week my nine year old had the word community on her vocabulary test. Every morning I would ask "What does the word community mean?". She would answer the definition on the list "A community is a group of people who live in the same area." Every morning I would say "Well yes but there is more to a community than that." I would go to explain all the different types of communities and all the benefits of having so many different communities. She is nine so she would aggressively reply "Mom! Move on to the next word." She really just needed to know the quick definition to get the right answer on the quiz. However, I wanted to make sure that she was aware of all the people in our lives that have supported and helped us. Trying to show my girls our village is important and teaching them to be thankful for the community is necessary. Although maybe I should save those lessons when we are not studying for a third grade vocabulary quiz.
At our family functions I have always been a baby stealer. This was a trait that I inherited from my aunts. I am one of the younger cousins in our extended family. Therefore most of my cousins were having babies before me. Every time there was a family gathering I was one of the first to muscle my way in a steal a baby. I was beyond happy to feed a toddler, walk and rock a baby to sleep, or throw a ball with a little kid. These small actions were fun for me especially since I didn't have kids of my own. I did not realize how awesome this was for the moms. Now that I'm on the other side I appreciate someone performing these tasks even more. Having a family member take my kids literally off of me for a few hours is totally rejuvenating. Sometimes you don't realize how much you need something until it is happening. Whenever someone in my family starts to entertain one of my demanding children, it feels like a fifty pound weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This village restores me with a break so that I can be a better mom tomorrow.
Moms are a community by our shared life experience of keeping tiny humans alive. I love my mom community. Some of my mom friends are online, some of them live across the street, and some of them live farther away. Whatever way I find myself connecting with these brilliant mothers they all fill my cup. My days are long while taking care of my destructive three year old. The only way I survive this chaotic life is to find solidarity with all my motherhood communities. Sending a quick message to my online parent group or calling up another mom friend to vent is the only way I make it through most of my days. As I write this my toddler just poured goldfish and water into a the cup holder of the couch. Time to send another message while I wait for her to get out of time out.
People were not meant to be alone. This logic translated into a lot of different areas of my life but motherhood is the most important. The value of my village is indescribable for my sanity. I love being part of all my different communities. I love being the one that gives the help to others. I love receiving help with my littles. I love that my girls get to grow up seeing all these benefits of our communities. Showing my girls to be appreciative of all the different people in our village is important. I never want them to feel alone. Letting them be proud of helping the community and being helped by the community is great to learn. So if you need a lasagna or a venting session about your kids I am here for you. Additionally anyone in my village can take any of my children anytime they want. Especially when we are trying to study for a vocabulary quiz.
No comments:
Post a Comment