There is Always Enough Messy

      Being raised in a world with a scarcity mentality created the same mindset in me.  There is not enough to go around.  There are not enough hours in the day.  There will never be enough love for everyone.  It took me thirty some years to realize that it was the wrong way to approach things.  There is always enough.  There is plenty of time.  There is enough love for everyone.  I have concluded that I don't need to be in competition with others for resources because there is enough for all of us.  Having fears of scarcity was lending me to creating a "dog eat dog" world.  This internal competition only helps to tear people down and not build them up.  Over the last year I have grown even more in my awareness that there is enough for everyone and we can all build each other up.

     My grandparents were kids during the great depression.  This naturally had a great impact on their lives and our lives as a result.  I remember going out to eat with my grandpa and he would pay us a quarter if we ate all the food on our plate.   Now I know that you don't have to eat everything on your plate.  You can get a box to go too.  However, as a kid I was always told about starving kids in Ethiopia, which wired me to think that someday there might not be enough food for me.  If I failed to finish my food I was wasteful and disrespectful to others that didn't have enough.  I needed to eat all of it now because it might not be available tomorrow.  We do not have the same eating rules for our girls.  Sometimes I don't even need to make my own lunch because I can just eat want my kids left on their plates.  They will eat when they are hungry and I don't need to guilt them into it. 

     I have been a singer and performer since I was very young.  Every time I had an audition instead of building each other up it became an extreme competition.  People auditioning were constantly undercutting each other by hurting feelings.  Even though judging was very subjective, all I knew was that if someone else got the part I didn’t.  As a result of this mindset there was so much wasted energy that I regret now.  Now that I'm older I understand it was a horrible outlook.  I should have known that even if I didn't get that specific role there would always be another role or another solo that would come up soon.  Most of the parts I did get were not celebrated by my peers because of the same scarcity thoughts.  If we all could have celebrated each other's successes instead of mourning for not getting the role for ourselves it would have been a much more enjoyable experience  all around.  I am trying to teach my girls that there is always enough to go around.  I want my ladies to feel comfortable celebrating others' victories because their time will come and they will want people to celebrate with them.  

     When I started to write this blog I was told there are too many blogs.  I was told it wasn't going to go anywhere because there were too many of the same thing out there.  I was told nobody would read it because it's all been written before.  Much to my surprise all those sentiments were extremely wrong.  I found an amazing community of parents that have been extremely supportive.  The social media world wasn't a cut throat world.  Sure there were probably some people who felt that way but that was not the community that I was welcomed into.  Social media has been an extremely uplifting and sharing world that I didn't expect.  Total strangers were inspired by my silly stories.  People I had never met started sharing my musings with their friends.  Along the way these strangers became friends.  These parenting communities have been so warmly welcoming.  We have bonded over loving our children fiercely while losing our minds in the process.  This solitary creates camaraderie and not competition and I'm extremely thankful for that.