If we all saw ourselves the way that our grandparent's see us the world would be a much better place. I was blessed to have two sets of extremely loving and involved grandparents during my whole childhood. My first grandpa to pass away happened when I was a sophomore in high school. My last grandparent to leave this earth occurred when I was in my 30s and that grandma spoiled my little girls until her last day. I have said before that having more people to love my girls is always a good thing. That is especially true with grandparents. Most grandparents have an amazing ability to see their grandchildren as the most perfect people on this planet. I know that is how my grandparents saw me and I know that is how my girls are perceived by their grandparents.
When my brother got married I was 22 years old. I was in the wedding party with my sister who was 20. My sister and I are both average sized women and average height. At the time we were both about size 14 and I'm 5 foot 6 inches and my sister 5 foot 8 inches. All the rest of the bridesmaids were amazonian goddesses. We were standing next to women who were over six foot tall and size two models wearing the same dresses as us. Most people would have said "Who are the two girls at the end that look like oompa-lumpas compared to all the rest?" My grandpa had the opposite reaction. He was an 85 year old man in wheelchair at the time of the nuptials. During the service he leaned over to my mother with complete seriousness and said "I feel so sorry for the rest of those girls up there. My granddaughters are so beautiful it making the rest of them look really bad." This is the way I need to look into the mirror every time I get ready for my day. If I can see myself through my grandpa's eyes I will never see any of my flaws.
My mother is obsessed with her granddaughters. She thinks that they are the smartest, funniest, kindest, prettiest, girls in the whole world. All of this adoration comes with a lot of good things but also a lot of crazy. This grandparent inflation of perception causes a lot of anxiety about her granddaughters. She has been convinced since the time they popped out of the womb that everyone was trying to steal these beautiful babies. EVERYONE! She has been convinced that if anyone of my children are out of my slight for a second someone will be waiting to snatch them away forever. I try to explain about giving them little glimpses of independence. However, the thought of any independence for my girls scares the crap out of my mother. I love that she loves them so fiercely and even my nine year old sometimes has to say "Gramie it's ok. I'm going to be ok." Knowing that someone has so much love for them is very comforting for all of my girls. They are very confident that Grey Grey is always on the lookout for their safety . I sometimes feel like both of my Grandmas are still watching me with the same intensity from above.
My grandma used to live about three hours away from me. My mom and I used to drive up to have lunch with her once a week when my babies were small and before she passed away. I still fondly remember my grandma literally pushing my mom out of the way to hug me first. That is what grandparents do. They love their grandkids more than anyone else in the world. I am fine becoming a second class citizen to my parents so my girls can move up the ranks. I am fine with all the extra toys, candy, and love that is given to my ladies. I am fine with the additional questions about their well being because I know it is coming from a place of love. The blessing of having involved grandparents in your life is beyond measure. It might be a little more frustrating for the parents sometimes but at the end of the day the joy that my girls get from the process is worth it. The grandparent relationship might be one of the shortest but it one of the most impactful because of the size of their love.
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