Messy Boxes

     Nobody likes to be put into boxes.  Nobody likes being labeled.  Nobody likes being stereotyped.  I am a very complicated person and I don't like being put into boxes.  I really don't think that anyone likes to be put into boxes.  We are all complex individuals and each one of us has a variety of different attributes. I am a stay at home mom but that doesn't mean my house is clean.  I am a woman but that doesn't mean I like high heels and sparkles.  I am a wife but that doesn't mean I can't have fun anymore.  People are more than surface deep and putting them into boxes does a disservice to everyone.  I refuse to fit any label that the world attempts to put on me and I encourage my girls to do the same.

     Recently we went clothes shopping with my nine year old daughter.  She loves playing video games.  That is her favorite activity.  By the end of the shopping trip she was visibly disappointed by the whole shopping process.  All of the items she was interested in were on the boys side.  Gamer shirts and all the other things that she was interested in were only available in the boy's section.  However, she refused to buy a "boy" shirt.  She was nervous that if she got a shirt out of the boy section there might be a boy at school that had the same shirt on one day.  The girls section was not working for her either.  Glitter, sparkles, unicorns, rainbows, and most things that are supposed to be girly are not appealing to her in any way.  I am growing to hate the fact that these things are still separated in our world.  Why is there a boys and girls section in clothes?  Why is there a boys and girls section in toys?  Why are we still dealing with all of these crazy boxes in the stores in the year 2021.  We are all aware by now that boys can like dolls and girls can like trucks.  Boys can wear a shirt with rainbows and girls can wear a shirt with a dinosaur.  These stores should just have a children's clothing section.  I have purchased men's clothes before but I am a 38 year old woman.  A nine year old preteen trying to learn to navigate socially has a lot more external pressures than I do.  My amazing girl already has more confidence than I ever did at her age.  However, when I see her stumble in her confidence because the world is trying to force her into a specific category it infuriates me.  I hate that the world has not caught up to the rest of us and how the box that they are putting my little girl in is now affecting her.

    We are all affected by the boxes that the world forces us into.  When people put me in the "Stay at home Mom" box they assume that my house will be clean.  They don't realize that there are a lot of things that go into my occupation.  My house is a mess because my life is a mess, in the best way, and I love it.  Life is very short and my life with my girls is even shorter.   If my toddler is crazy I will drop everything and go to the park or the library.  If my mom calls and wants to go to lunch I will drop everything and meet her in the afternoon.  If a friend is having a rough day I will drop everything and do whatever I can to help.  Being a SAHM doesn’t mean we actually stay home.  On the off chance that I am home I am always trying to catch up on laundry or other tasks that have gotten pushed to the wayside by more important things.  All those things of playing with my toddler, lunching with my mother, or hanging with a friend are way more important than a clean house.

     Some people fit into the boxes perfectly.  My six year old girl loves sparkles, unicorns, glitter, and all things that are "girl" approved.  However, for people like me and my nine year old we have to fight to stay out of the box.  Being forced into a category that you don't fit is frustrating.  Sometimes I feel the need to justify why my house is a mess.  Sometimes I feel the need to explain my experiences or reasons I don't fit their expectations.  Sometimes I feel the need to apologize for not fitting into someone's box.  I hate that.  I want my girls to feel free to live outside of all labels.  I want my girls to be their most REAL self unashamedly.  I want my girls to have the confidence to go against all norms.  Living out the boxes of the world is challenging but together we can navigate to our most authentic place.  Luckily for my nine year old she has a mom that will fight for her to live outside the boxes too.