Friday, October 15, 2021

Sorry is Messy

     

     I'm sorry.  These are sometimes the hardest words to say.  Especially for my strong independent girls.  However, saying those few words can be very impactful and super important.  Being a Mom means leading by example.  Therefore the first person in this house to say "I'm Sorry." should always be me.  Sometimes I make a mistake and need to say "I'm sorry and I will try to do better next time."  Sometimes I bump into someone and need to say "I'm sorry are you ok?".  Sometimes I don't know the answer to a question and need to say "I'm sorry I don't know let me find out."  Telling people you are sorry is not a sign of weakness, it is a demonstration of strength.  Since I am raising three super strong girls I need to make sure they are strong enough to say sorry.

      I am a super mom that is still completely human.  Everyday I make thousands of mistakes.  Everyday millions of things that need to get done fall through the cracks of my crazy life.  Everyday I make an effort to apologize if something has gone awry.  In the morning I make breakfast for everyone.  I am usually able to get everyone fed even before my coffee is done being percolated.  To non mothers this probably doesn't sound like a lot of work.  However, I can assure you that toasting pop tarts, smearing bagels, and frying eggs while a toddler is hanging on your leg and a 6 year old is crying requires a lot of energy.  One morning I finished my breakfast tasks and sat on the couch to get some work done.  About an hour later my 6 year old told me she was hungry.  I said "Did you finish your pancakes?" and she said "I didn't get any pancakes."  I glanced over at the microwave and saw "END" flashing in place where the time is normally.  I had cooked her pancakes and never given them to her.  We both laughed and I said "I'm so sorry sweetheart let me get those for you now."  It was a silly mistake, nobody died, and it only took a second to show my girl that I was sorry I forgot to feed her.

     Having three girls comes with extra emotions.  Most of the time I have three people yelling at me about three different things at the same time.  I am extremely human and often snap back at all the emotions.  Mostly my 8 year old is outwardly affected by these snaps because she is starting to go through puberty.  After my overreaction I give her a hug and tell her I am sorry for yelling at her.  While still hugging her I explain that there is no excuse for my yelling.  Clarifying for my preteen the overwhelming things that were happening and the reason that I yelled are all part of my atonement.  I always promise to try and do better in the future and explain how she can help me by not yelling at me while her sisters are also yelling at me.  We are all navigating this life together and we have to work together as a family.  That also means acknowledging when you are wrong and apologizing for indiscretions.  If I dug in my heels and told my daughters that they were the reason I was yelling would not be constructive.

      When I say "I'm Sorry." to my girls for not knowing the answer I love it.  I am not literally apologizing for not knowing everything.  That would be ridiculous.  I am sorry that I can't give them the answers they are looking for.  This turn of events always makes me super excited.  Finding the opportunity to learn new things is always thrilling.  Teaching my brilliant girls to find the answers for themselves is even more rewarding.  Someday they will be telling me all the answers instead of the other way around. 

     I'm sorry are some of the strongest words that we can say as mothers.  I'm sorry are some of the most important words we can say as mothers.  I'm sorry are some of the wisest words that we can say as mothers.  The only way that I can teach my girls to apologize is if I am also willing to say "I'm Sorry."  Most of the time our littles are learning from our example.  Showing my girls that I make mistakes, owning those mistakes, apologizing for those mistakes, and always trying to do better next time is part of my daily life.  I will keep telling my girls I'm sorry for all my mistakes and keep learning from those mistakes.  Now if I could only get my girls to apologize to each other as easily.         

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