Friday, October 8, 2021

Messy Timing

      It's not your time yet.  This is the best advice that I have ever received from a mom friend of mine.  It's not your time yet.  It is the best advice because it doesn't mean the things I wish I could be doing are never going to happen. It means right now there are some things that I need to be patient about.  It means it is not my time yet!  Now I use this advice in a million different situations.  Those words echo through my ears while I'm raising kids.  Those words echo through my ears while I'm struggling to find alone time.  Those words echo through my ears while I'm trying to carve out time with my husband.  All these balls that I am constantly juggling in my brain get put into their right place with those few special words "It's not your time yet."

     The story of how these words came into my life is probably a familiar one to most moms.  I had just dropped by oldest off at her 3 year old preschool.  I decided to kill time by walking around Target with my newly turned one year old.  That day I was feeling particularly low because none of my clothes were fitting right.  My current body shape was the dreaded in-between size.  I had lost enough baby weight that my fat clothes didn't fit anymore but not enough that my old clothes were fitting yet.  Hopelessly searching the rakes and emerging from the dressing room totally defeated I saw one of my friends.  She was in total workout mode and looked amazing after coming straight from the gym.  I said "Oh my goodness you look so good!  I wish I could go to the gym."  This amazing women looked me right in the eye and said "I'm going to tell you the same thing that someone told me when I was in your stage...It's not your time yet."  Stunned and totally sleep deprived I said "What?"  She explained "My last little guy just started kindergarten this year.  Which means I finally have time to go to the gym.  You have two littles that are literally relying on you for everything.  It is not your time to go to the gym.  It is your time to soak up all the love from your littles."  

    Understand that these words hit me like a ton of bricks.  I almost started awkwardly sobbing right there in the middle of Target all while trying to stop my one year old from crying.  Hazily I checked out of the store finding no outfits that fit my new shape and headed to my car with my super fussy baby.  Driving back to preschool I could hear the words echoing in my brain.  It's not my time yet.  I could hear the thoughts forming.  It's not my time yet.  I could hear my extremely needy baby finally snoring in the back seat.  It's not my time yet.  By the time I reached the preschool I felt a a million times lighter.  She was totally right it wasn't my time yet.  Trying to squeeze one more thing into my already exhausting day with my two demanding toddlers was a ridiculous expectation.  Allowing for myself to be ok with that was a huge relief. 

     Since that fateful day in the woman's clothing section of Target, I have tried to refocus my thinking.  Every time a tiny voice creeps in my brain and says "You should be doing this."  I yell "IT'S NOT MY TIME YET!"  Every time I see someone that says "You should be doing this."  I yell "IT'S NOT MY TIME YET!"  Every time the world says "You should be doing this."  I yell "IT'S NOT MY TIME YET!"  It has definitely become my mommy mantra.  I love these words to calm all of my fears of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).  I love all these words because they cause me to be happy with what is currently happening.  These wonderful words help me find joy in my present situation  and allow me to live in the moment with all my beautiful girls.  Passing these words onto my girls will hopefully help them travel through life with more confidence that they are always in the right spot even if it doesn't feel that way.  Whenever you’re  feeling down make sure you tell your beautiful mom selves "It's not your time yet."  

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