I expect perfection from my girls. That sounds crazy I know. This does not mean I expect perfect grades. This does not mean I expect perfect behavior. This does not mean I expect perfect athletic skills. I am striving to be a perfect me and that is what I expect my girls to be. Our perfection is not measured by worldly measurements. I want my girls to strive to be the best versions of themselves and that is the only measurement that they need to base their excellence on. Perfection does not have to equal pressure and in this house we are finding that balance. We require improvement which is perfection to us.
Third grade is a new adventure for us. Our school system has finally switched from numbers to letter grades. The number system was three numbers. Three was considering mastering the skill, two was working on the skill, and one was need additional assistance on that skill. My 8 year old has now switched to the normal letter system of A through F. Not shockingly our smart girl is getting mostly As in the new system. However, they introduced dictation test and her first attempt was a D+. Luckily my husband did not tell her that was a "bad grade." We explained that we needed to work harder. For that first test her perfection was a D+ and we were ok with that. She is still learning. The letter grades just explain to us what we need to work on and what she is doing great already on. She is a smart girl and we are never going to stress over grades. Just like everything else in life grades are just a barometer to tell us what we need to work on.
My kindergartner is a completely different story. Perfection for her is not academically based. As a result of her anxiety we are just happy that she is making it through the whole school day. Every day my little 6 year old wakes up and says "I'm going to take today off." And everyday I have to tell her that she is in kindergarten now and she no longer gets a day off. I also sweetly inform her that I never get a day off either and let her know that she needs to wait until the weekend just like everyone else. I strongly believe that kindergarten is the time when you are supposed to be learning how to go to school every day. We are not concerned with her academic performance. We are working on getting her to go to school everyday. Perfection for her is waking up and getting ready for school without a fight.
My two year old is also an alternate adventure. Her level of perfection is based on not destroying things. She is learning how to be a good human and it is a difficult process for her. Some people are concerned with their two year old knowing all their colors, or shapes, or alphabet but I just want my two year old to stop smearing her mac and cheese all over the couch. My goal is that she stops crushing all the her chips into the cart. We really just want her to not dump her fruit punch on the dog. I want her to not color on the walls or put toothpaste all over her feet or take off her diaper and rub poop all over her stomach. Making her a better person is a full time job. Perfection for our rambunctious toddler is to not destroy things.
I expect my girls to be perfect, which mean perfect versions of themselves. I need them to be kind and caring to everyone they meet. I need them to love the skin that they are in. I need them to always try and improve. Being perfect should not measured by external standards. The most perfect version of themselves is what I desire from my ladies . That means different things to different girls. However, we are always striving for perfection in this house. It might not be perfect to the outside world but it is perfect to us. I will not let anyone rest on their laurels. We must all strive to be the perfect versions of ourselves but I will not judge any of our girls against others that are not them. My husband used to be in the army and I want my girls to be "The best you can be." Perfection is a constant pursuit for each of us as long as we don't base it on things we can never be it is always a good thing.
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