Confidence is an extremely strange thing to be have in abundance. I was born with an extra amount of confidence. I never thought it was weird. I thought everyone loved themselves as much as I loved myself. It really wasn't until I was in middle school and high school that I noticed my peers struggling with insecurities. I remember saying things like "That's weird. Don't you know you're awesome." or "Why did that person's words make you feel bad? Their opinions obviously don't matter." Now that I am an adult I fully understand how strangely my brain is wired. However, as a result of my new insights I am hoping that my confidence gene is something that all three of my girls will possess.
I'm pretty sure my mom was a big part in making my self confidence gene super powered. Even as a teenager I remember my mom always reformatting my thinking about certain situations. When a boyfriend would dump me I would initially come home upset. Immediately I would tell my mom about the situation. She would say things like "Oh no I feel so bad for him?" By the end of the conversation we were both feeling bad for the guy that dumped me because he was going to miss out on all of my amazing things. I love that my mom was able to present this aspect of the world to me. Later I realized that in her thought process she was just being honest. She really did feel bad for all the boys that stupidly dumped me. In her amazing mom brain every boy or friend that didn't want to hang out with me was missing out on the best thing ever. Secretly I feel the same way about my little ladies so I am hoping that I can impart the same wisdom upon them. I cannot understand why someone wouldn't want to play with my girls because they are the coolest kids in the world. I feel bad for all the kids that miss out on playing with my little ladies.
My eight year old and I were shopping for a picture day outfit the other day. As we were shopping, I looked at my girl and said "You look really cute today." She said "Yeah I know." A woman that overheard us mumbled under her breath "That's not very humble." That was hard for me to hear. I love her confidence. I love that she feels comfortable in her own skin and knows when she looks good. People who have problems with others' confidence usually have problems with their own. I am not going to tell my kids to be humble. I am not going to tell my girls to take it down a notch. I am not going to tell my ladies that they are not as cool as they think they are. The world we live in is going to do all those things so that is not what I am going to do.
As a mom of three girls I am abundantly aware of what they are going to face growing up. The media is going to tell them what they are supposed to look like. Society is going to tell them how they are supposed to act. People are going to constantly tell them that they are not good enough. So I am not going to tell them any of those things. I will teach them how to say "Thank you." for a compliment and make sure to notice the beauty in others as well. However, I need them to be built up in our house so they can survive in this world. Pointing out their amazing attributes is going to be something that they can think back on when something or someone takes the wind out of their sails. Additionally I'm not lying because my kids are literally the best kids I've ever known. My job as a mom is to help them see all the amazing things that I see and celebrate it with them. I don't know if confidence is nature or nurture or both but I plan to boost every ounce of confidence my girls possess. Hopefully this will help them survive in this critical world that we are all living in.
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