Like most women I used to struggle with things about my physical appearance. I wished my boobs were bigger. I wished my legs were smaller. I wished my nose didn't have a bump. After I had my first daughter all of those struggles magically went away. I say magically because for me it was almost instantly. Eight years ago as soon as that first little baby girl popped out of my vagina all of my physical insecurities seemed to disappear. Since that time I have been 250 pounds and I have been 150 pounds and I have felt incredibly sexy at both sizes. Health goals are still apart of my life but I now approach them with already loving the skin I am currently in. I can say with certainty that in my per-mom life I would not have felt that way. However, in my post-mom life I love literally everything about my body and physical appearance and am working everyday to help my girls do the same.
For months before my wedding I dieted and worked out to be the smallest version of myself. My husband, who is truly an amazing man, has never cared what size I was. Zumba classes twice a week, eating like a rabbit, and walking or riding my bike everywhere were just a few of the things that consumed my life during the time leading up to the big day. It was about wedding pictures. I knew those photographs would be in my life forever. All of that dieting and exercise made me a horrible person to be around. I was hungry, tired, and completely uncomfortable at all times not to mention absorbed by my weight loss goal. All of this for some stupid pictures. Looking back I am super surprised my husband still married me. I was a very mean woman during those months but I was the smallest size I had ever been.
My husband and I became pregnant only three months after we got married. If you are doing the math, that means we had a two week old baby on our first anniversary. During those nine months my husband had the crazy idea that I was craving Dairy Queen every night. I'm pretty sure he was actually the one with the ice cream cravings but I went along with it. We both gained 60 pounds during that pregnancy. Partly because the only way I wasn't throwing up was if I was eating something and partly because of my husband's awesome craving suggestions. However, when our sweet little girl was born, losing weight, snapping back, or even fitting into my pre-pregnancy clothes was the last thing on my mind. I was fat and happy and totally in love with my new little baby.
My focus had completely changed in the matter of days. At the birth of this tiny human I realized that my life was no longer my own. My new focus was this sweet baby girl and everything that she needed. Also my body had just accomplished the most amazing thing. More than I ever thought it could possibly do. Birthing a baby out of my vagina was beyond my wildest imagination of what I was physically capable of accomplishing. Being in labor for 28 hours makes you totally appreciate your body in a different way. Adding to the wonder of it all, my unbelievable body had accomplished the same feat twice more. Every time I was in labor I was even more astounded by my physical capabilities as my body transformed into a different "new normal" after each birth. After the intense triumph of shoving babies out into the world my body was still performing magnificent feats such as feeding the babies. How could I not love this incredible body that did all those wonderful things?
Ever since I became a mom I have honestly loved all aspects of my body. My super boobs were able to feed and keep alive tiny humans. My amazing wide hips, big butt, and strong legs were able to carry three babies safely for nine months. My beautiful nose and freckles are now traits I cherish in all three of my sweet girls' faces. As a mom to three girls I know that they are probably going to struggle with some kind of body image issues. Most women do at some point in their lives. Teddy Roosevelt once said "Comparison is the thief of joy." Even comparing myself to my past self will rob me from all the joy that I have acquired becoming a mom three times. I chose to no longer lose my joy and love whatever skin I am currently in. Hopefully I can encourage all three of my amazing ladies to do the same. Hopefully they can see the beauty in their own bodies abilities. Hopefully they can learn to love the skin they are in too. I want all moms to be able to recognize the amazing things that their bodies have done and learn to love the changes because of it. If we are all honest it is pretty freakin' amazing!
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