The Real Messy Dad

            

     This last Sunday was a day to celebrate the man who helps make all my dreams possible.  My husband is the best dad in the world to our 3 little ladies.  He doesn't like to be talked about a lot.  Most people like to think of him as my silent partner but he is my everything.  We have been married for 10 years this November.  In that short amount of time we have had 3 homes, 3 children, and 1 girl dog.  This amazing man of mine is surrounded by women 365 days a year and he secretly loves it.  When he was young a man and thought of being surrounded by beautiful women I am pretty sure this is not what he pictured.  However, I know that this life that we have created is a million times better than anything we both ever imagined it could be.

     When I prepared to marry my husband I was very confident that he was going to be an amazing husband.  I would not have married him if that was not the case.  However, I had no idea if he would be an amazing father.  We got engaged only 4 months after we met for the first time and have been inseparable ever since.  Our first little lady was born 2 weeks before our first wedding anniversary and my husband jumped right into being a dad.  She actually preferred to do skin to skin with him instead of me.  I tried not to be offended but I was the one with the boobs that were feeding her.  My husband got a wonderful welcome to fatherhood present by our wee lass peeing directly into his mouth when she was 4 days old.  I still remember laughing hysterically as he tried to wipe his face and exclaimed "I thought that only happened with boys."  

     I constantly tell people that one of the reasons I had children was so my husband would have someone to play with.  Even with our first newborn, she would sleep on the edge of his recliner while my husband played Xbox.  My 8 year old and 5 year old are into Roblox.  My husband loves to join them in the games they are playing.  His office has been transformed into a gaming command center.  Usually they are playing games like Fashion Famous or Mommy Baby which are obviously not games chosen by husband.  Only an incredible girl dad would play hours or these games just to have playtime with his ladies.  I am positive that when my husband thought of gaming with his kids, fashion games were not on his radar.  However, he finds joy in their joy and that is the sign of an awesome father.

     My husband loves to roughhouse with our girls and my girls love it too.  When my oldest was learning to speak she started calling it horse roughing and the term stuck.  Sometimes it includes actual horse riding when all three girls jump on my husband's back at the same time and yell "Giddy up horsey!"  The group has at least five minutes of horse roughing every night.  As my girls get bigger they are actually starting to hurt my husband now, it is three against one after all.  I think that my husband will just have to start bodybuilding.  There have been a few articles that have been written about roughhousing with your girls to increase their body image later in life.  If this research is accurate my girls are going to be ridiculously confident about their bodies when they get older.  

      My husband is the perfect father for all three of our crazy chicks.  Everyday we are doing the best that we can working together as a team to raise three kooky kids.  These little ladies are an extreme amount of work and it is made much easier by having an amazing partner.  He delights in our children and you can see the joy in his eyes when they run to greet him at the door.  Mom doesn't get that same type of welcome.  Raising three daddies girls is a blessing and curse for any father and our father dearest handles it with ease.  He is my best friend, the love of my life, and works hard for all his women everyday.  My girls and I are extremely lucky to have the best man on the planet taking care of us and we cherish taking care of him too.  Happy Father's Day Adam!    

Messy Moms Just Do It!

      Nike should have said "Moms Just Do It!" for their famous slogan.  I have heard other moms say to stay at home moms "I don't know how you do it."  I have heard other moms say to working moms "I don't know how you do it."  I have heard other moms say to work from home mom "I don't know how you do it."  The answer is we just do.  Every mom in the history of the world has been asked to do incredible things.  The moment you become a mom you know that you don't have a choice of not doing it.  Things must be done and moms are always the ones that are stepping up to do them.  I think this is why we are wired from the beginning.

     From the time that we are in labor we know that there is no going back.  Once labor has started whether it be c-section, induction, or natural you cannot stop it.  There is no off switch to the contractions.  You can't press pause and decide, I think I'll have the baby tomorrow instead.  We all just push on literally and figuratively.  All moms are abundantly aware of this fact.  This amazing thing happens in all areas of parenthood.  Once the contractions start you have to keep pushing forward.  Once school starts you have to keep pushing forward.  Once puberty starts you have to keep pushing forward.  As moms we are trained from the beginning that no matter what happens we just have to do it.   

     When I was pregnant with my first child she was over two weeks late.  Her due date with October 5th and she finally arrived on October 25th.  Even after waiting for 20 extra days when the event actually happened I didn't know if I was ready.  I went in for an ultrasound and they noticed that my fluid level had dropped.  My little girls was big and she had lost some weight because she was running out of room. The OBGYN office was connected to the hospital so my doctor told me that she would walk me down to the delivery room to start the induction.  I panicked!  I didn't have my bag!  My husband wasn't here!  I was all alone!  After I got checked in I had to have 12 hours of cerevidal before they started the Pitocin because I wasn't dilated or effaced at all.  Waiting for my people to get there was the longest time of my life.  It was in that moment that I realized moms can literally do anything.  Even if nobody showed up I knew that I was going to get this baby out of me.  Once my mom and husband arrived my new mindset had already kicked in.  My mom and I spent the next 28 hours giggling while my husband snored in a recliner next to my bed.

     Moms have a natural instinct to do whatever is required of them.  Most of this ability is fueled by our love for our children.  These tiny humans whose entire existence and well being relies on me requires super human abilities and mind set.  Most of my days are filled with a millions of different kid orientated tasks.  I never really have a chance to stop and think if I can do it.  Moms Just Do It!  If I come across a situation that is difficult I figure it out.  Moms Just Do It!  It I come across a situation that seems impossible I might get help but I get the job done.  Moms Just Do It!  We really have no other options because our kids don't wait for us to figure things out.  That's why when everything is coming at us we can always be sure that all Moms Will Just Do It.      

Always Sexy and Always Messy

     Like most women I used to struggle with things about my physical appearance.  I wished my boobs were bigger.  I wished my legs were smaller.  I wished my nose didn't have a bump.  After I had my first daughter all of those struggles magically went away.  I say magically because for me it was almost instantly.  Eight years ago as soon as that first little baby girl popped out of my vagina all of my physical insecurities seemed to disappear.  Since that time I have been 250 pounds and I have been 150 pounds and I have felt incredibly sexy at both sizes.  Health goals are still apart of my life but I now approach them with already loving the skin I am currently in.  I can say with certainty that in my per-mom life I would not have felt that way.  However,  in my post-mom life I love literally everything about my body and physical appearance and am working everyday to help my girls do the same. 

     For months before my wedding I dieted and worked out to be the smallest version of myself.  My husband, who is truly an amazing man, has never cared what size I was.  Zumba classes twice a week, eating like a rabbit, and walking or riding my bike everywhere were just a few of the things that consumed my life during the time leading up to the big day.  It was about wedding pictures.  I knew those photographs would be in my life forever.  All of that dieting and exercise made me a horrible person to be around.  I was hungry, tired, and completely uncomfortable at all times not to mention absorbed by my weight loss goal.  All of this for some stupid pictures.  Looking back I am super surprised my husband still married me.  I was a very mean woman during those months but I was the smallest size I had ever been.

     My husband and I became pregnant only three months after we got married.  If you are doing the math, that means we had a two week old baby on our first anniversary.  During those nine months my husband had the crazy idea that I was craving Dairy Queen every night.  I'm pretty sure he was actually the one with the ice cream cravings but I went along with it.  We both gained 60 pounds during that pregnancy.  Partly because the only way I wasn't throwing up was if I was eating something and partly because of my husband's awesome craving suggestions.  However, when our sweet little girl was born, losing weight, snapping back, or even fitting into my pre-pregnancy clothes was the last thing on my mind.  I was fat and happy and totally in love with my new little baby.    

     My focus had completely changed in the matter of days.  At the birth of this tiny human I realized that my life was no longer my own.  My new focus was this sweet baby girl and everything that she needed.  Also my body had just accomplished the most amazing thing.  More than I ever thought it could possibly do.  Birthing a baby out of my vagina was beyond my wildest imagination of what I was physically capable of accomplishing.  Being in labor for 28 hours makes you totally appreciate your body in a different way.  Adding to the wonder of it all, my unbelievable body had accomplished the same feat twice more.  Every time I was in labor I was even more astounded by my physical capabilities as my body transformed  into a different "new normal" after each birth.  After the intense triumph of shoving babies out into the world my body was still performing magnificent feats such as feeding the babies.  How could I not love this incredible body that did all those wonderful things? 

     Ever since I became a mom I have honestly loved all aspects of my body.  My super boobs were able to feed and keep alive tiny humans.  My amazing wide hips, big butt, and strong legs were able to carry three babies safely for nine months.  My beautiful nose and freckles are now traits I cherish in all three of my sweet girls' faces.  As a mom to three girls I know that they are probably going to struggle with some kind of body image issues.  Most women do at some point in their lives.  Teddy Roosevelt once said "Comparison is the thief of joy."  Even comparing myself to my past self will rob me from all the joy that I have acquired becoming a mom three times.  I chose to no longer lose my joy and love whatever skin I am currently in.  Hopefully I can encourage all three of my amazing ladies to do the same.  Hopefully they can see the beauty in their own bodies abilities.  Hopefully they can learn to love the skin they are in too.  I want all moms to be able to recognize the amazing things that their bodies have done and learn to love the changes because of it.  If we are all honest it is pretty freakin' amazing!

Messy Nebraska

    Home is where your heart is.  If this is true my heart is smashed all over the world because so are the people that I love.  I was raised in Indiana and my husband was raised in Nebraska.  After having three beautiful girls we are constantly working to combine our two worlds.  I want my girls to love Nebraska just as much as they love Indiana.  Every year we try to drive to Nebraska as much as we can.  School schedules make that more difficult nowadays.  However, as soon as school lets out we load the kids in the car and take the ten and half hour drive to see our Nebraska people.  Well actually 11 hours with all the stops.  My husband spent almost 20 years of his life in Lincoln, Nebraska.  He has lived in that city for longer than he has lived anywhere else.  I want my girls to know as much about their father as humanly possible.  That includes where he grew up and all the people that were involved in his childhood.  

      We have a massive amount of Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins that reside in the Lincoln area.  Going back is not just a visit, it is a homecoming.  I love when we are able to get together and it seems like we are always able to pick up right where we left off.  Catching up on kids, activities, trips, and everything else that is happening in our lives while we are apart is just one of the amazing things about a Nebraska visit.  All our kids create a gang and cause as much havoc as possible.  On our last trip the children actually all picked up sticks and created a tiny five person kid air band which included banjo and violin among the instrument list. 

     My husband only has one sibling.  His sister still lives in Lincoln and recently bought a new house.  She was so nice to let my kids break it in for her.  I LOVE that Aunt Megan pours so much love into my children.  She does everything that she can to spend as much time with my little girlies while we are there.  Snuggling the toddler, shopping with the preteen, and coloring with the 5 year old are just a few things that make her so amazing.  She even took on the chaos of baking a birthday cake for my father-in-law with all 3 little helpers.  We should obviously submit her for sainthood.

     My mother-in-law passed away about 4 years ago however Grampa Randy still lives in Nebraska.  My girls love running all over his land and feeding the fish in his big pond.  They love to admire all the pretty fountains that he has and so much amazing nature.  My father-in-law takes so much time to bake chocolate chocolate chip cookies with my crazy girls.  I also think that they have to taste every single one to make sure it is not poisonious.  Graciously he puts on kidz bop and plays it at max volume for a huge dance party in his living room.  Kidz bop is not in his normal music rotation but he is happy to play it because it makes my girls move with so much joy.  This last trip we got to celebrate another rotation around the sun for this man who loves my little ladies.  Happy Birthday Grampa Randy!

     I love that so many people delight in my children.  I love that we have family all over the country that love my girls.  I love that all those people will take time to pour into my ladies.  I have always said "The more people who love my kids. The better."  There will never be a number cap on the amount of people who are able to love my girls.  Nebraska, Colorado, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Tennessee, North Carolina, and Nevada are just a few places that our amazing family resides.  Some of them we have not seen in person for a long time but I know that we are still connected.  I know when we get the chance to visit or they get the chance to visit here it will be like we were never apart.  Family and friends imprint upon our lives and will forever be a part of our journey.  Therefore I have to conclude that a day of traveling in a car with 3 small children is a small price to pay for the love that is shared when we get to Nebraska.