Kids are messy. ALL kids are messy. I am confident that there has never been a sweet baby that has been placed into a momma's arms that does not poop through a diaper or spit up. There is no such thing as a non messy child. They just don't exist. The bad news is kids are always messiest for their own parents. Even me, a 37 year old woman, frequently goes to my mom's house and messes up her stuff. Not out of malice but just because I don't put things back where she wants them to go. My brother frequently eats my mom's chocolate and forgets to throw away the wrappers at her house. My sister will unknowingly leave a rogue Kleenex on my mom's counter. It is a blessing that our children are so messy, especially to their mothers.
Being a mom is the one job that I can never quit. It is the one thing that I will do until the day I die I will be someones mom. My girls will always be my children and I will always be their mother. I hope my kids feel as comfortable with me when they are in their thirties as they do when they are toddlers. Even though my mom lives in a house that I did not grow up in I still feel like it is my home because my parents live there. I feel totally comfortable going over and cleaning out her fridge or her pantry because she is my mom. These feelings mostly stem from the way that my mother reacted to our messes. Do I shrug it off or freak out? Am I punishing the kids or calmly asking them to clean up their mess? Children will always make messes and that I can't change that. However, I can change the way I react to the mess.
My 2 year old loves making messes. It brings her such joy to be destructive. Instead of just dumping out a bag of chips on the carpet she likes to take further. She will feel the need to stomp every last chip into the carpet to make sure there is no going back. Currently her favorite toddler thing to do is say "Oh No!" and then two seconds later dump her drink all over the floor. There is no sippy cup safe from her carnage. I could choose to let my heart sink and get angry that she has added to the millions of other spills that I need to clean up on a daily basis. However, I chose to shrug and happily get the towels, one for me and one for her. When she loses interest in cleaning the spill I finish up and go on with my day. No crying and no screaming because messes are going to happen. I think if I was to get upset at every mess that my kids make I would be wasting a lot of energy and we would all be massively unhappy. We would lose lots of our precious time together if they were in time out for every spill. My girls would lose lots of their independence if I insisted on doing the task to prevent the spill. We would all be enormously more frustrated if I cared about each spill. Spills happen and over the years I have gotten very used to them.
I want my girls to live here. I want them to be comfortable here. I want them to be kids here and kids make messes here. It is a part of life. This home is their home too and I want them to enjoy it which means not having to walk on eggshells in it. I was very fortunate that in my childhood we were treated like kids. Of course we had chores to help around the house and so do my girls. Teaching them to find joy in helping us take care of their home creates a sense of ownership. Giving them chores helps them realize that we value our home. They set the table every night, put their clothes away, and clean their rooms. I am their momma not their servant but I am also not their boss. They do not work for me because we work together in this house. When my girls are playing all together messes will be made and it is a beautiful thing. When my girls are playing all together laughing will happen and fun will be had. When my girls are playing all together bonds will form and imaginations will be engaged. We will clean up when they are done. No rush.
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