Thursday, March 4, 2021

Messy COVID Kids

     






     Everyone has been affected by the Coronavirus.  My job as a mom is to partly shield my kids from most of the harsh realities of the outside world.  We want them to enjoy being kids to the best of their abilities without having to worry about big adult problems.  Our current pandemic status is making that part of my mom job very difficult.  It has been almost 365 days that we have been trying to navigate this post COVID life.  After almost a full year I am here to tell you I still do not have it figured out.  That is the case for most of parenting but this current curve ball has been very difficult to maneuver. 

     I have always said that my children are feral.  My girls love anything that has to do with outside nature life.  Fresh air is a recharge for their little kid batteries and makes them better people.  During the first lock down all the parks were off limits in addition to all the group outside sports being cancelled.  These circumstances translated into built up energy being directed at me and fighting with each other.  My husband and I tried everything we could think of to help them release those heightened emotions.  We took walks, bought Rollerblade, and spent hours on the back yard swings.  However, nothing matched the same level of physical release as playing at the park with friends or group sport events.  As a result we experienced a lot of fighting, yelling, and crying in our house those first few months from all of us.  After almost a year in this pandemic state the parks are back open but the winter has us stuck inside again.  Normally we would have physical outlets like the roller skating rink, trampoline jump house, and dance classes.  But with some places still closed as a precaution those options are no longer available.  Therefore I will continue being the punching bag for my kids to help them get out all of their aggression until we can get outside again.  This too shall pass.

      School has been a struggle for everyone in one way or another.  We had a variety of challenges in our house.  I had a first grader who LOVED school and therefore had a lot of tears.  I had a 4 year old preschooler who did not care about school and would usually talk with her butt for every zoom call.  And I had a destructive 1 year old who did not understand why I wasn't giving her more attention.  Quickly I realized why teachers don't bring their toddlers to school with them.  I have never taken teachers for granted.  My thoughts have always been that they were exceptional people who work very hard and have a special talent.  Therefore when I was suddenly forced into the role of first grade teacher without warning, you can imagine I failed miserably.  At the end of first grade my oldest was supposed to learn how to tell time.  I tried, my husband tried, my mom tried, we almost got the neighbors involved but we were all unable to teach my sweet 7 year old that skill.  Certainly if she was in school she would have picked up this skill with ease.  However, because she was being taught by non-professionals we could not get this concept to stick.  I distinctly remember my husband and I sitting in bed one night after a rough day of first grade.  We both decided that we would be perfectly content with the idea that our first born would only ever be able to read digital time pieces. It was more important for us to leave this time of her life with less emotional scarring than it was for her to learn how to read a minute and an hour hand.    

    We are all leaving this last year as different people.  Even my new 2 year old spent her first toddling year mostly confined to the walls of our house.  Eating in a restaurant is something that she has not experienced since she was an infant.  Teaching her to sit and eat in a public space is going to be a steep learning curve for all of us.  My patience was tested to its limits and it broke quite often.  My 5 year old started going to therapy because her control anxiety was exacerbated.  My 8 year old felt more alone than she had been, even though she was living with 5 people.  And my husband learned to do his job with screaming and yelling in the background.  Despite all these challenges I am super proud of my family. We have overcome every challenge that has been thrown at us with flying colors.  Every time something new changed in our lives we were able to make it past as a family.  Above everything else we learned we loved each other more and together we can handle anything.  

    

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