Tablets Aren't Messy

  I have a very unpopular opinion about tablets.  I LOVE THEM!  They are amazing tools that I use for my kids all the time.  I think using tablets for my girls is totally fine.  Tablets have gotten a bad rap for some reason and I don't think they should.  Cooking food over a fire is no longer the norm because technology has advanced and now we use ovens or a microwaves.  New technology doesn't always mean it is a bad thing.  Some people thought microwaves would give you cancer when they first were invented.  There are many reasons why I love tablets but the main one is that it makes my girls smarter and happier.  Not too long ago it was perfectly acceptable to leave your kids in a playpen in the middle of your living room for the majority of the day.  Today that is pretty much illegal therefore I must find other ways to keep my kids from getting into things that might hurt them.  I use their tablets as a virtual playpen.  Instead of me doing a song and dance for my kids I use the tablet to entertain them so I can actually get some things done.  

     When my oldest was 4 years old she thought my husband was skipping parts of her night time books.  In her defense that is exactly what he was doing.  He wanted bedtime to be as short as possible, like most parents do,  and a long book just made the process longer.  My smart sassy daughter downloaded a "Super Why" app on her tablet and taught herself how to recognize certain words.  I was aware that she had the app because we were obviously monitoring what was on her tablet.  However I had no idea that she was using it so she could check up on her Daddy.  One night we were putting her to bed and my husband decided to skip a paragraph and turn to the next page.  My very precocious 4 year old promptly said "You skipped a part."  My husband said "No, I didn't."  She insisted "You skipped the part that said Baby Moana." My husband and I both looked at each stunned.  He said "Did you teach her what those words are?"  I said "No."  My sweet little girl explained her devious plan to us and then smiled smugly because she had achieved her goal.

     I have stated before that all my kids are very active.  My girls never stop moving unless I make them sit and stop for a bit.  We call this quiet time because my kids have never been good at napping.  Naps were not something that my ladies needed.  Unfortunately like most kids they still desperately needed time to rest their brains and bodies for a bit.  Originally I started using tablets for this reason.  My oldest stopped napping when she was 18 months old.  Even before tablets were a household staple we made my oldest sit and watch a movie for 2 hours so that she could stop moving and rest.  Usually Toy Story did the trick but sometimes it would be 2 hours of Doc McStuffins or Bubble Guppies.  All my girls still need that kind of unwind time now and so do I.  If we didn't have tablets my husband and I would be stuck watching a different princess movie every night.  We would also have to mediate the fight over which princess movie would be the one of choice.  Tablets allow my children to relax and also alleviates the disagreements over what to watch.  Even now my 8 year old and 2 year old are snuggled up watching the same tablet but they are finally relaxing after hours of outside running.  

      My husband works in IT so we have a lot of limits on what they can access.  However, especially with my oldest, we want her to learn some self control.  We tell her what she can and cannot watch and trust her to make the right decisions.  We need to trust our girls little by little to use their own discernment and make good choices.  Occasionally we catch her on an unapproved site, usually harmless but still unapproved, and then there are consequences to her actions.  Just like letting her play outside with her friends we have to give her freedom and check in on her to make sure she is following the boundaries.  The same thing applies to this crazy online world.  I don't want them to jump into the deep end when they are teenagers having no guidance from their parents.  That would be the same as giving my kids the keys to the car at 15 but they had never actually been in a car.  My ladies are allowed to explore their tablets within limits. As a mom I try to use everything at my disposal to help my kids.  Tablets are just one of the tools that I use to accomplish my many goals while raising strong independent girls.         

Messy Irish Lass

      My great great great great grandmother Margret Kenney was born in Castlerea, Roscommon, Ireland.  When my ancestors decided to come to American they brought a lot of things with them.  One of the things that survived over the years is our genetic predisposition to having red hair and freckles.  Like most Americans I am an extreme mix of a lot of different things.  German, Swedish, Norwegian, Austrian, English, and Irish just to name a few.  However, as a result of my freckled complexion and my strawberry blonde hair I have always felt drawn to the Irish side of my varied heritage.

     Looking different is not always a good thing as a kid.  Some kids would say it looked like there was dirt on me.  Some kids would ask if they could play connect the dots with my freckles while holding a marker.  Some kids would ask me why I had spots on me like a dog.  As an adult I totally understand that some of these questions were completely innocent.  Curious kids were asking me these questions to try and figure out why my skin was different than theirs.  However, some of the teasing was malicious and mean spirited as I progressed to middle school and high school.  The harsh attitude from some of my peers during my teen years caused me to question my appearance.  I remember seeing an article in Cosmopolitan that said "Get rid of your freckles with this quick makeup trick."  I was so excited to be rid of these small specks that had plagued my adolescents.  Like most teenagers I just wanted to look like everyone else and be what I thought was "normal."  According to the periodical you had to use two types of foundation and a whole tube of cover up.  I put all the gunk on my face and instantly hated it.  You could no longer see my freckles but I finally realized that was not what I wanted.  The experience made me realize that I actually LOVED my freckles even if others teased me about them.

     Embracing my Irish side more than ever I started celebrating my freckles and red hair.  Especially on St. Patrick's Day but also the rest of the year too.  We live right outside of Indianapolis, IN and every year they host an event called "Indy Irish Fest."  I have been attending the event since before I met my husband.  I love everything about it, including the Irish step dancing, the bagpipes, the hurling, the Irish dog show, and especially the Irish music.  Irish Fest was the one place that I was able to see so many people who looked like me.  I no longer stood out with my freckles and red hair because at Irish Fest there was literally a sea of redheads with freckles.  

    My husband has a red beard so I suspected there was a definite possibility of producing some redheaded children.  My first little lass come out with white blonde hair but as she got older she developed the cutest little freckles on the bridge of her nose.  My second little lass came out with fire red hair and a fire personality to match.  The last little lass has strawberry blonde hair.  My 5 year old redhead has already received some of the same questions that I got as a kid.  Sometimes she is asked if her freckles wipe off on the playground.  We always try to tell her how beautiful and unique her freckles are.  I am sure that she is going to go through some of the same kinds of things I did as a kid.  Recently my husband saw a billboard that was an advertising a laser treatment to get rid of your freckles from a dermatologist.  My Grandpa Stewart always used to say "A face without freckles is like a night sky without stars."  I hope by teaching about our Irish heritage all of my lassies can learn to love their freckles like I did.  Unfortunately the knife cuts both ways.  My blonde 8 year old always feels left out because strangers always comment on the uniqueness of my two red heads.  As a mom I always try to celebrate their rare features that make them all extra beautiful. 

   I think humans are always struggling to find the beauty in our differences.  Especially for women and especially if we are the ones who are different looking.  If everything in life was exactly the same then life itself would be so much easier.  No one would ever have to learn to understand another person's perspective or feeling.  However, if everything in life was exactly the same then life would be so much more boring.  I will always try to love and celebrate the differences in my little lassies and try to teach them to celebrate the difference in others.  Maybe if we all learn to honor all of our differences we could live in a much more interesting and beautiful world.            

Messy Mom Alone

 

      My husband left me.  Well he actually just left me for a business trip but he left me alone with all three of our darling angels.  Normally he would only have to go away for 3 to 5 days.  Unfortunately with the cornavirus his company doesn't want to expose extra people so he is going to be gone for 11 days.  11 DAYS!!!  That means 11 days of solo bedtimes, 11 days of solo homework, 11 days of asking "Where is Dada?!?!", 11 days alone with my children.  It wouldn't be so bad but all three of my girls as Daddy's Girls.  As soon they are done breastfeeding they all love their Daddy more than me which is a blessing and curse. 

      Most normal days I am alone with my girls.  It is usually not that bad because there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.  At 5pm when my husband gets home it is a little bit like sending in the Calvary.   A tunnel that is 11 days long has only a small speck of light at the end that I can barely see.  Waiting 11 days for reinforcements is a bit like drowning.  However I keep telling myself he will be back soon.  My husband has been traveling for work on and off since our first little lady was a baby.  When she was younger she would get so mad when her Daddy was gone.  For 24 hours after he returned home she refused to acknowledge that he had returned.  Eventually she would soften and she would be a Daddy's little girl all over again until the next time he had to go away.

     It has been over a year since my husband has had to do any business traveling.  Last year at this time he was actually stuck in New York City while the world felt like it was crumbling around us.  Luckily he made it home safely just in time for us to start E-Learning and working from home.  It was an obvious adjustment but it was much easier with a partner like my husband.  He has literally been amazing.  Hopping up in between meetings to teach our first grader.  Trying to keep our preschooler focused on her zoom call instead of doing gymnastics.  Putting our two year old down for a nap so I can get caught up on dishes and laundry.  He has seriously been a saint during this entire pandemic and now he is leaving me all alone with 3 hungry wolves that will probably devour me.

    My littlest can't remember a day that her daddy hasn't put her to bed.  She was only 14 months the last time that he had a business trip.  As long as she can remember her daddy has always been home.  It took this toddler 2 days to really understand that Dada was not here.  We returned home from dinner at my mom's house and she refused to leave the car because I needed to take her to see her Dada.  We called him on Facetime and as soon as she was able to talk to him we were able to coax her into the house.  After a really rough year with my girls these next 11 days are going to be the roughest yet.  Luckily my parents only live 15 minutes down the road.  Luckily my kids will be going to school.  Luckily we have Facetime so my ladies will be able to see their Daddy every night.  However, it is still going to be uncomfortable for all 5 of us.  My husband would prefer to be home rather be than be 1100 miles away.  Sometimes you have to do things that you don't want to do to bring home the bacon.  In 11 days we will all be together again and hopefully back to normal.  Until that time I am going to live in a no sleep chaotic life.  Pray for me.                  

Messy COVID Kids

     

     Everyone has been affected by the Coronavirus.  My job as a mom is to partly shield my kids from most of the harsh realities of the outside world.  We want them to enjoy being kids to the best of their abilities without having to worry about big adult problems.  Our current pandemic status is making that part of my mom job very difficult.  It has been almost 365 days that we have been trying to navigate this post COVID life.  After almost a full year I am here to tell you I still do not have it figured out.  That is the case for most of parenting but this current curve ball has been very difficult to maneuver. 

     I have always said that my children are feral.  My girls love anything that has to do with outside nature life.  Fresh air is a recharge for their little kid batteries and makes them better people.  During the first lock down all the parks were off limits in addition to all the group outside sports being cancelled.  These circumstances translated into built up energy being directed at me and fighting with each other.  My husband and I tried everything we could think of to help them release those heightened emotions.  We took walks, bought Rollerblade, and spent hours on the back yard swings.  However, nothing matched the same level of physical release as playing at the park with friends or group sport events.  As a result we experienced a lot of fighting, yelling, and crying in our house those first few months from all of us.  After almost a year in this pandemic state the parks are back open but the winter has us stuck inside again.  Normally we would have physical outlets like the roller skating rink, trampoline jump house, and dance classes.  But with some places still closed as a precaution those options are no longer available.  Therefore I will continue being the punching bag for my kids to help them get out all of their aggression until we can get outside again.  This too shall pass.

      School has been a struggle for everyone in one way or another.  We had a variety of challenges in our house.  I had a first grader who LOVED school and therefore had a lot of tears.  I had a 4 year old preschooler who did not care about school and would usually talk with her butt for every zoom call.  And I had a destructive 1 year old who did not understand why I wasn't giving her more attention.  Quickly I realized why teachers don't bring their toddlers to school with them.  I have never taken teachers for granted.  My thoughts have always been that they were exceptional people who work very hard and have a special talent.  Therefore when I was suddenly forced into the role of first grade teacher without warning, you can imagine I failed miserably.  At the end of first grade my oldest was supposed to learn how to tell time.  I tried, my husband tried, my mom tried, we almost got the neighbors involved but we were all unable to teach my sweet 7 year old that skill.  Certainly if she was in school she would have picked up this skill with ease.  However, because she was being taught by non-professionals we could not get this concept to stick.  I distinctly remember my husband and I sitting in bed one night after a rough day of first grade.  We both decided that we would be perfectly content with the idea that our first born would only ever be able to read digital time pieces. It was more important for us to leave this time of her life with less emotional scarring than it was for her to learn how to read a minute and an hour hand.    

    We are all leaving this last year as different people.  Even my new 2 year old spent her first toddling year mostly confined to the walls of our house.  Eating in a restaurant is something that she has not experienced since she was an infant.  Teaching her to sit and eat in a public space is going to be a steep learning curve for all of us.  My patience was tested to its limits and it broke quite often.  My 5 year old started going to therapy because her control anxiety was exacerbated.  My 8 year old felt more alone than she had been, even though she was living with 5 people.  And my husband learned to do his job with screaming and yelling in the background.  Despite all these challenges I am super proud of my family. We have overcome every challenge that has been thrown at us with flying colors.  Every time something new changed in our lives we were able to make it past as a family.  Above everything else we learned we loved each other more and together we can handle anything.