Thursday, February 11, 2021

My Messy Valentines



     I have never really celebrated Valentine's Day.  Even when I had boyfriends or I was a newlywed my perception was it was always a day of an unnecessary pressure.  Happily I usually just let the day pass without much fuss.  However, when my little ladies arrived my thoughts quickly changed about the Day of Love.  I cherished the idea that I had another day to show my girls how much I loved them.  My heart shaped cookie cutters are used for everything.  So many love notes and hearts are drawn on all the papers all day long.  Even the dog gets a cardboard heart shaped food dish from the little girls that love that Husky.  I love that on Valentine's Day I get extra kisses and hugs and get to use all kinds of special ways to show my ladies that I love them.

     When I was in college my friends and I called Valentine's day S.A.D. (Singles Awareness Day).  It was appropriate because on February 14th we all became extremely aware of who was single.  All of the attached women in the dorms would spend hours getting ready for their highly anticipated romantic plans.  The girls with suitors would wait eagerly for their dates to make their way up to the door and then be whisked away for Valentine events.  Meanwhile all the girls that were single would stay in sweatpants, order pizzas, and eat junk food straight out of the bags they came in.   Dateless girls would pick a movie and gather in the common area for a relaxing night with "no boys allowed" written on the door.  I always preferred the sweatpants and junk food kind of night. 

     Every year when Valentine's Day rolled around and I was without a boyfriend or a date it did not cause me any anguish.  However, many other girls did not feel the same.  It seemed like it was one of the days that always chipped away at the self worth of some of my amazing friends.  Boys who were attached probably had more pressure than most days but the single boys didn't seem to carry the same stigma as the single girls appeared to.  Single boys on February 14th seemed like they dodged a bullet while the single girls seemed to be in a leopard colony.  Now I am a mom raising 3 girls and I never want my ladies to feel like they are less than amazing.  Especially in February just because a boy doesn't take her out to dinner on the 14th.  I want all of my girls to see the love that is all around them and not focus on having a date on one specific day of the year.

     My husband and I have celebrated our love for each other every day for the last 10 years as if it were Valentines day.  Once we had our first little lady we took that day to celebrate our love for her.  Now that my girls are older I want to try and redefine the day as a celebration of family love instead of romantic love.  I am sure that when they get old they will notice the societal pressures of Valentines Day just as I did in college.  My hope is that our firm foundation of celebrating family love will allow them to celebrate all the kinds of love on this day and not just the romantic type.  

       Family love, Friendship love, Sisterly Love, Brotherly Love, Pet Love, and Self Love are just a few things that can be celebrated on Valentine's Day.  Romantic Love is not the only kind of love that should be held in the highest esteem for the day.  On a day about love we should try and celebrate all the kinds of loves that we have.  Showing my children all the Momma love that I can muster on this special day seems to be the best way for me to use Valentine's day for good.  Our house will be littered with paper hearts, every food prepared will be heart shaped, and I will say I LOVE YOU as many times as I can mange in a 24 hour period.  My little lassies will know without a doubt on Valentine's Day that they are always loved by their Momma.  


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