Most people probably have a favorite Martin Luther King Junior quote. If you don't you should find one. Mine is "Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." I have always loved the imagery of these words. Walking down an invisible staircase is sometimes what raising children feels like. We never know where we are going but we have faith that we will get there. Sometimes it feels like the next step is invisible because we can't see it. Being a parent takes a lot of faith. Google dictionary defines faith as "Complete trust or confidence in someone or something else." A lot of people think of faith when speaking in religious context. However, I would like to look at the faith I have in my children. My faith is tested everyday with my kids. When it comes down to it I have to put a lot of trust in my little ladies.
My oldest was a flower girl in a wedding for her first birthday and my husband and I worked for months to try to get her to walk on her own. By the time the big day came she still needed my husband to hold her hand and keep her steady down the aisle. She finally took her first steps a month later at 13 months. I could work with them and practice like in the case of my oldest but I trusted that she would be able to do it for herself when she is ready. She had to have the faith to trust her tiny legs and take those first steps. I had to trust that she would get the courage to walk without needing a hand.
When you are in the world of potty training it is hard to believe there will ever be a time when you are not cleaning up more poop panties. As George Michael said "You just gotta have faith." Every potty training comes with its own challenges and in the end you have to have faith that your kids will figure it out. I trust that they will not always be running to the bathroom at the last minute and getting a little poop in their pants. Even if I feel like we have gone backwards on the invisible staircase I have faith that their next step will take us to where we need to go. Faith during potty training was the hardest thing for me but I trusted that my kids would make it through. I had faith that they were not going to be 16 and still pooping in their pants.
The first time I put my oldest on the bus for kindergarten I thought I was fine. As the bus drove out of sight my face got hot and I started sobbing. I wasn't crying because she was gone for the day. Secretly that was a bit of relief. The hot tears were from a lack of faith and so many questions spinning through my head. Is she going to be good and kind at school? What happens if someone makes fun of her or calls her names? WHO WILL HUG HER IF SHE STARTS CRYING? All these questions and million more spun through my brain. In the end I knew that I had to have faith. I had to trust that she would learn to navigate this new chapter of her life. I could not be there for every minute but I could trust in her and support her when she got home. Faith doesn't mean I stop caring, it just means I have peace about the current situation. Eventually the trusting part of my brain took over and my tears dried up.
Faith in my kids is something I have to remind myself constantly. How can I have faith in someone who can't even remember where they took their shoes off last night? I need to trust that they need to learn to do things for themselves. Cleaning, cooking, laundry, homework, etc.. are all things that I am learning to trust them with. If I don't trust them doing something small like cleaning their room how am I going to trust them when doing something that is bigger. Teenage trust is going to be much more difficult if I don't have faith in them when they are small. When my girls start driving and going places without me I am going to have to trust that they are making good decisions. Everyday I will try my best to have the faith to walk down that parenting staircase even if I still can't see the next step.
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