Thankful for the Mess

     

 

     I am beyond thankful that nothing in my life has turned out the way I imagined.  Years ago when I pictured myself having kids and being married it was like "playing house".  I dreamed of putting the baby dolls in the crib for a nap.  I imagined making homemade sand pies that were cooling on the window in the fake kitchen.  I envisioned sitting around the dinner table nicely conversing with my stuffed animal family about our days.  Reality is so much better than I have ever dreamed it to be.

     My babies did not fall asleep after nicely tucking them into their cribs each night.  Yes, this would have provided me with much more sleep as a mom.  However, I am thankful they didn't because I would have missed out on so many things.  The feeling of rocking them and singing songs to them.  Even now I tell my older girls what their favorite songs were when they were babies.  The feeling of my tired babies relaxing into me in the middle of the night because all they needed was to be close to me.  The amazing and slightly annoying way that they still ninja crawl under my blankets in the middle of the night and snuggle up next to me.  Reality is so much better.

    Pies have never been cooling in any of my windows.  Yes, it would have been lovely to have fresh baked goods for my kids especially since I love baking.  However, I'm thankful that I haven't taken any time away from my family by focusing on baked goods.  There have been times that I have baked with my little ladies. After these bonding baking experiences it takes me about 2 hours to clean the kitchen. It was unimaginable the delight that my children would get from just stirring.  Even if they are only making  a lemonade mix, that stirring gives them so much happiness and pride.  They will proceed to tell everyone they encounter about the delicious lemonade they made.  Reality is so much better.

     Nobody is ever nicely sitting around the dinner table.  Yes, it would be nice if everyone used a fork, had a napkin, and stayed in their seats.  However, I am so thankful for the chaos that comes with our family dinners.  My kids feel free to tell us anything which gives me so much joy.  My independent women have no trouble speaking their minds and telling me or my husband that they don't like the dinner we have prepared.  They share details about their days and often jump out of their seats with excitement.  Usually we experience dancing routines and singing of original songs in between bites.  Something always gets spilled or dropped on the floor but there are always extra napkins on the table to accommodate.  Reality is so much better.

   My crazy life is so much better than I could have ever imagined. I never dreamed if I just opened up my arms a chubby little toddler would run and fall into me.  I never dreamed that my bed and my heart would be totally full with little arms and legs on top of me. I never dreamed the amount of loud giggling, squealing, and screaming would be so melodious to me.  Although nothing has turned out the way that I expected it to be, everything has exceeded my wildest dreams. For all that and so much more I am so very Thankful!  Happy Thanksgiving!

Fruity Mess

 

     Fruit is healthy.  Fruit is a great sugary substitute for your children.  Fruit is a nicely balanced snack alternative.  I am sure we have all heard these common drones from pediatricians and parenting experts.  These very smart people have studied a massive amount of research on what is best for my children.  However, they failed to tell me one thing about this amazing fruit.  It is super gross when kids actually eat it. 

     Bananas are one of my kids' favorites.  My husband has to actually hide his bananas because if the kids see them they will be gone in a matter of minutes.  When my littlest is sick it is hard to tell the difference between banana smear and actual snot from her runny nose.  Both need to be wiped with a wet wipe so I guess it doesn't matter.  

     Apples are a portable fruit that was literally designed by the devil.  If I give my kid an apple they never eat the whole thing and then it becomes a scavenger hunt for the remains.  Heaven forbid I lose track of one that the children snagged for themselves. Inevitably I will find it weeks later blackened and mushy under the couch.  This happens more often than I would like to admit.  The car is the other place where the carcass of apples love to hide.  My sweet Eddie loves them so much she calls them "Happles."  At her toddling age of 20 months she can already recognize that apples make her happy.  

     Grapes are usually a commodity in this house.  However, in the off chance that they are on sale, the grapes are either gone in 10 minutes or rot off the vine.  Not to mention how much anxiety it gives me.  There are so many stories about kids choking on grapes.  My 8 year old eats them right out of the bag so there is no time to cut them.  Luckily I am still able to slice the grapes to bite size for my other two little bitties.  

     Oranges/Clementines are great until my toddler decides to eat four of them at one time.  I love that she finds joy in this tiny round fruit.  However, I don't love the diaper devastation that is to follow her "Cutie" bender. The "Halos" are worse because of the tantrum my 1 year old throws when I cut her off from the sugary goods that she has come to expect.  The pediatrician also told us that peeling this fruit is good for children developing dexterity.  The wise doctors failed to explain that if the kids peel their own orange that means the peels will be found weeks later.      

      Strawberries are my redhead's favorite food.  My kids get treats when they are good at the grocery store.  The other two always ask for cookies while my redheaded Agatha always asks for strawberries.  I planted a strawberry field in our raised garden bed for her benefit this year.  Unfortunately that birds in our wooded backyard enjoyed more of the strawberries off the vine than Aggie did.  We still continue to tell her that her hair is red due to her strawberry intake.  

      Watermelon is a summer time favorite for my girls.  This massively juicy fruit must be eaten outside.  Otherwise I will have to mop the entire floor to keep the ants away.  In the summer time the ants love to follow my wee ones watermelon path.  Honestly the ants love all the places where my children tread.

      Years ago my husband and I watched a show called "Raising Hope."  In this show they told their son he was allergic to fruit.  My husband and I have considered this tactic with our little gremlins.  All this fruit is amazing and gross.  Sometimes I feel like my husband and I are running a restaurant.  I will say things to him like "Push the Grapes" for a snack.  Grossly I find blackened, squishy, and rotted fruit in the most obscure places.  My kids like fruit more than candy in most cases.  One time I brought home Reese's Pumpkins after Halloween and my kids were more excited about the bag of Clementines.  Therefore, I will keep buying and throwing away all the fruit.  If it makes them happy, it can't be that bad. 

Messy Breastfeeding vs Messy Bottle Feeding

 

    Everybody is always arguing which is better Breastfeeding or Bottle Feeding.  I am here to tell you the answer.  Yes, breastfeeding is best.  Yes, bottle feeding is best.  Yes, pumping is best. Yes, whatever you have to do to feed your baby is best.  Yes, it is hard no matter what path you decide to take.  Yes, as long as your baby is fed it is good.  Yes, as long as you are doing whatever you need to make you more of a sane mom is great.

     When my first little lady was born it took a little time to fall into a breastfeeding rhythm.  Once we did it was awesome for us.  For me and Audery the bonding was amazing.  We loved breastfeeding, the price was free, and I conveniently always had a boob available for her.  That was my experience and I did not think it was the only way people should feed their baby.  She was a strong willed little lady and decided to stop at 9 months old.  We navigated perfectly and did what was best for both of us.  

     The experience with my second little sweetie was severely different.  In the hospital my lactation consultant told me I was veteran breast feeder and I was doing great. Confidently I thought Aggie and I would fall into a similar rhythm.  However, when my cuddly baby girl was only 3 weeks old we knew something was wrong.  Aggie never seemed satisfied even after my milk had come in.  Experiencing some severe nipple damage from her violent sucking, we took her to the lactation consultant at the predication's office to figure out the problem.  The appointment was extremely enlightening.  They weighed my baby girl then she fed on one side, then they weighed her again and she fed on the other side.  After she was done with both boobs they weighed her one final time.  It seemed like witchcraft and was completely eye opening.  In our case they discovered my lovable little Agatha was getting 4 oz out of me and still needing more.  We started supplementing with formula and my itty bitty 3 weeks old was needing to eat 8 oz of food every 1-2 hours.  This was an immense amount of food for a tiny baby.  The doctors determined that she had an uncommonly high metabolic rate.    

      Breastfeeding my second child was the hardest thing I have ever done.  Literally every 45 mins for thirteen months I had to produce a breast.  All night and all day this adorable little redhead was connected to my teat.  If we did not supplement with formula my tiny Aggie Rose would have been very unhappy.  If we did not supplement with formula this extremely tired momma would have probably not even had the slightest of breaks.  Not to mention I still had a strong willed 2 year old that needed lots of things.  This time of my life stretched me.  I learned how to breastfeed while sleeping.  The lactation consultant told me that this was a necessity.   She explained that I needed to sleep to live.  She was extremely right.  I was breastfeeding while cooking dinner.  I was breastfeeding while sitting on the toilet. I was breastfeeding while trying to eat one handed.  I was breastfeeding while wiping a 2 year old poopy booty. This wee babe that I loved more than life itself was literally sucking the life out of me.  Well Aggie grew up to become a voraciously eating 5 year old who only weighs 30 lbs and she now eats more than most grown adults.  

    For decades there has been a huge debate of Breastfeeding vs. Bottle feeding babies.  We may all have our own opinions and experiences that shape those opinions.  However, there is never a "one size fits all"  answer for children. I am here to tell you that there should be no debate.  Whatever is best for the baby is obviously the right answer.  Most people fail to realize that what is best for the sanity of the Mom is also what is best for the baby.  A Mom knows what is best for her baby.  Not all babies are created equal, why would anyone expect for all Moms to be created equal as well?  Ignore the outside noise and enjoy these sweet little baby times, because toddler madness is coming soon to a theater near you.  

 

A Tired Mess

      

     Last night my husband and I had to seriously tag team our kids.  We had a revolving door of children in and out of the room all night.  My middle child Aggie had ninja crawled into our bed sometime before all hell broke loose.  My littlest Edna is in the process of getting her two year molars.  At 2 a.m. the drugs we gave her at bedtime had worn off so our poor little baby woke up screaming with pain.  It took me almost an hour to get her back to sleep.  The position that finally did the trick was laying in bed, hugging her tight,  and softly singing.  Then at 3:30 a.m. my oldest Audery came in because she had a bad dream.  I really did not want Audery to wake up Eddie so I sent her to my husband's side of the bed.  My husband told her that there was no room in the bed, which was extremely accurate.  Audery ran back to her room crying and feeling scared.  My wonderful husband got out of bed and walked to Audery's room to take care of her intense feelings.  

     Agatha was totally offended by all these actions.  First, Edna had taken her cuddle spot that she had rightfully claimed earlier in the night and now, her second cuddle person had left the bed completely.  She was feeling unloved and alone.  Naturally, Aggie's only course of action was to start crying hysterically.  I whisper screamed to her "Go find your father!"  I had a great fear that her sobs would again wake up her temperamental little sister in pain.  The time was now 4:30 a.m. and all I could hear was a faint commotion coming from the girls rooms down the hall.  Edna and I finally dozed back to sleep and woke alone.  

   It was 8:15 a.m.  Having no idea what happened in the wee hours of the morning between my husband and my other two girls, I finally discovered my husband asleep in Agatha's bed.  Aggie and Audery were both found downstairs on the couch watching their tablets.  Slowly, I crawled into the full size bed and snuggled up next to my sweet spouse and whispered "Holy Cow!  What the heck happened last night?"  We both felt like two twenty somethings that had a bender the night before.  The only difference was our night did not involve alcohol and we did not even leave the house.  Unfortunately we were unable to have a day of recovery like most sleep deprived young adults.  Apparently someone still needs to feed our three demanding children.  

     All parents have had similar nights like this one.  We throw kids in our bed at 4 a.m. hoping and praying to just get a few more hours of sleep.  Just like me and my husband we are all just trying to survive the night.  We are trying to get enough sleep not to die.  We are trying to function like normal humans during the next day.  Was I mad that all my children were in my room last night? No, I want my kids to feel comfortable to come to me all hours of the day and night.  It just happened to be a perfect storm last night.  My littlest was in pain, my middle child was feeling unloved, and my oldest was scared.  My wish is that my kids would reach out to me for any reason no matter the time or place.  When they are teenagers and in emotional pain I want them to find me at 2 a.m.  When they are young adults and feeling unloved I want them to call me at 3 a.m.  When they are grown and have kids of their own and are feeling scared, I want them to come to me at 4 a.m.  The day, the time, or the reason does not matter when it comes to loving my kids.   I want them to always find me because this Mom will always be available for my babies.