My five year old was a difficult potty trainer. Her main problem was pooping as a result of constipation from her high metabolism. The only successful reward was suckers when she pooped on the potty. I was standing in the candy isle at Walmart. My newly 3 years old was safely tucked into the front seat of the cart. Holding up two of the biggest bags of suckers that I could find, I said "Do you want these poop suckers or these poop suckers?" After the words came out of my mouth I heard a lady in her late 60s start laughing hysterically walking down the isle behind us. She touched me on the shoulder and said "That is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time!" Totally startled I had to remember what I had just said because the term "Poop Sucker" had become such a normal vernacular in our home.
I love suckers. They are the cure for everything that troubles my children. "Oh no! You lost your favorite toy." All better with a sucker. "Oh no! You had to get shots at the doctor." Fix it with a sucker. "Oh no! Your fish died." Sucker will make it better. But seriously how do such small items seem to be the antidote for all of my children's imaginary and real ills. The only downside is everything about a sucker.
I hate suckers. They create a disproportionate amount of mess for such a small sized candy pop. Suckers will never stay inside of my kids' mouths. Inevitably their little hands will become covered in sticky sucker goo. As I scream "NO!" their dirty fingers will reach out to slime me. My kids hair, hands, face, feet, and any other exposed body parts will not be immune to the stickiness. My sweet little gremlins will smear their gunk all over the car seats and the couch. God forbid they have the loving urge to hug our sweet husky dog during the sucker eating time. When the reign of the sucker is finally finished everything I own is now covered with sticky mess.
In the aftermath of all this sucker turmoil there is a considerable amount of clean up. A billion wet wipes will be used to rectify the devastation. In the odd case that I am out of wet wipes, I will grab a massive amount of napkins or paper towels and get them soaking wet. Then I will proceed to basically give my little darlings a head to toe wet wipe bath. In hindsight it probably would have been easier to dunk the children into an actual bathtub or spray them off with the outside hose. The determination is that it always takes longer to clean up than it takes to literally eat the sucker. Why would I still give suckers to my children? Why would a sane person purposefully cause this extreme messy situation and make more work for themselves? For the love of motherhood why would anyone allow everything to get so sticky?
The answer is simple...joy. The amount of joy that all of my kids get from a sucker is totally worth every car seat scrubbing; every couch washing; every extra load of laundry; every time I have to change out of a sticky shirt from a unexpected sucker hug; and every leftover sucker stick found stuck to the carpet. Behind all those messy sticky moments with suckers is a vast amount of joy for my girls. The joy that causes them to giggle with delight; or say the sweetest "thank you!" without prompting; or stop all those sad heavy feelings that seem too big for their sweet little bodies; or dry up all those huge tears that were falling from their eyes only a few seconds earlier. The joy is so much better than all that sticky slimy sucker mess.
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