My mom loves giving gifts. It is one of her favorite things in life. For as long as I can remember she has always loved wandering around stores to find the perfect thing that she knows people will love. Gifts are so much more to her than little trinkets for the recipient. It is a way to say "I love you." It is a way to say "I'm thinking about you." It is a way to say "I know you." She is not just giving gifts because that is what you are supposed to do. The joy that she gets from the giving is just as important as making the person happy when they receive it. My grandma felt the same way and so I've learned the joy behind giving all my life. Sometimes I think that people say "No more toys." because they don't understand the joy of giving. To some people it is not about the trinkets, it's about the joy.
My seven year old had a birthday party this weekend. She invited her whole class and by the time of the party arrived we had about twenty kids that showed up for Pizza, Games, and Strawberries. All those things were adamantly requested by the birthday girl. Every time I write invitations to a party I always say "Your presence is present enough." I never want people to feel that a gift is required. However, being raised by my mother, I always add suggestions in case people feel inclined. When people showed up with bags and boxes I instructed where to put their gifts. The party went on and we played the games my little lady had requested. She wanted to play all her favorite games and be the one that was "it" every time. Floor is lava, Red light Green light, Simon Says, Wax Museum, and Hide and Seek were the majority of the fun. After they enjoyed their games and their pizza I wondered if we should open presents. Most kid parties we go to, the kids don't actually open the presents at the party. This made me question if I should let her open her gifts. Being the rebel I am, I decided to allow it and I'm so glad that I did.
Surrounded by a sea of children ages three to ten I confidently yelled "Present Time. Time to open presents." They all came rushing in a wave. Most of them super eager to make sure my seven year old opened their gift first. The joy on all of their faces as their present were unwrapped was beyond measure. The excitement in their little bodies as they anticipated their present being unwrapped was beyond measure. The pride beaming from expressions as their present was unwrapped was beyond measure. I knew that each one of those kids had carefully thought about my little girl and picked out something special for her. Most of them even hand made cards for her or put something special in the ones that were bought from the store. Yes the gifts were definitely for my newly seven year old. However, allowing her to open all her gifts with her friends was a gift to them as well. Every time my little lady would pick out another package to open I would say "Who is this one from?" One of the little tikes gathered around my girl would excitedly exclaim "That ones mine!" or "That ones from me!" Then they would passionately help her open the parcel they wrapped and sometimes tell her what it was before she had time to figure it out.
I totally understand why some parents wait to open presents until the party is over. It is chaos. It is messy. It is unpredictable. What if my kid doesn't like the gift and has a bad reaction? What if the other kids get jealous and start fighting? What if we lose pieces of the gift as it is ripped open in excitement? There were any number of reasons not to let my birthday girl open the presents until we got home but then we would have missed out on such a sweet experience between her and her friends. Sometimes when you let go of somethings you get so much more in return. Having structure and control of every aspect might make things neater and more predictable. However, when I give in to the chaos of children, sometimes beautiful things happen. Giving in to the mess makes so much more beauty from the pandemonium. Letting my birthday girl open her gifts was a gift for everyone. And that's a gift that I will truly treasure.
